It's getting too close for comfort now..

Cate is due in less then two months, and i really feel she's no where near ready for this. i do see glimmers of hope that she's maturing ever so slightly, but she's still that spoiled brat who wants what she wants, when she wants it. i do believe she's gonna be shell shocked when she comes to the realization it's not just about her anymore. secretly, i'm looking forward to it..hehe.

having a baby in the house again is a bit exciting, scary, and downright inconvenient for my part. i've raised mine, and i already know as soon as she starts asking me to do this and that, i'm gonna get resentful. i know it sounds awful, but it is what it is. thirty years of raising my own (and plus years raising my younger brother) have made me somewhat selfish in regards to "me time". i have plans for the rest of my life that don't involve small babies, dang it. BUT, all this crap i'm talking is just that, because i know as soon as i see him all bets are off. i'm such a sucker >.<

we had a pretty decent sized fire in the kitchen yesterday which was difficult to get under control, but Eric and i managed just nicely as soon as we kicked nervous nelly out. Cate is NOT good under pressure, and was simply screaming and panicking to the point of me not being able to remember where the fire extinguisher was, she was doing my head in that badly.

i worry about this. what will she do if and when the baby has an incident she needs to stay calm for?

maybe i should move out..lol

stupid disease

there i was two days ago, enjoying the ability to walk without limping, not much pain, and feeling good. i felt so good i took a few walks, even though it was at a slow pace. i also never noticed before the sidewalks here are not flat, so i walk with my eyes down to avoid getting on a slant or stepping on rocks, just to make sure my ankles don't bend in a way that will cause a problem later.

that's was all over and done with as of last night. no sleep, incredible pain in my ankles, and woke up to it being worse. why is it anytime i have to see my rheumy this happens? she always sees me in some sort of ridiculous amount of pain or with my joints swollen to epic proportions.

*sigh* let the lecture begin.

Easter

it's come and gone and i miss my family. it was nice to spend part of the day with Cate but since she's met Eric, i rarely see or talk to her unless she needs something. *sigh*

work is nuts again as we've fired the new girl. she's a bit nuts and it was time, but now we're back to just three. should be loads of fun.

the weather is finally warming up, and i'll be looking forward to spending time outside again rather than being cooped up in this damn apartment. it would be swell not to have to wear a jacket though. one of these days...lol

i feel a road trip coming on too. i need to get out of this place, even for only a little while.

enough

with this weather. 19F that feels like 9F, frost on the windows, snow in the forecast on and off through April 5.. screw this. this has been the longest winter i can remember, even though spring officially arrived March 20th. pff, we had a blizzard like storm that day! i can't take no mo'

that stupid dog of Cate's is on my final nerve. he doesn't listen, barks if someone farts in the alley, barks if someone closes a car door across the street, barks if someone in MN burps, barks at the kitten, barks at Dallas, bark bark, BARK. his newest assinine trick is to come to the door to be let in, only to run off. well up yours, asshole, you'll be enjoying some fresh air for the better part of today. we could all use the rest too, bitch.

the kitten can go with him for that matter. she's tearing up my wood work and i'm close to having her declawed. i don't really think it's a nice thing to do, but i can't afford new door frames.

omfg, am one crabby biatch today. o.O

where the hell did spring go?! O.o

it's snowing! wtmfh?! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :(

it may be spring

finally, warmth. yesterday got up to 63 and today we're expected to reach 65. i haven't felt this warm since October, and what a relief it is. no jacket, no hat, no gloves..

BUT

i have to go on a serious diet. now that i'm not wearing bulky sweatshirts, i can see how fat i've really gotten!

just one more reason i dislike winter..lol

i survived another week from hell, but i'm glad it's Friday. three whole days off, and i will NOT be answering my phone.

Catie's sonogram came back normal, so thank goodness for that. maybe she'll start eating again. poor kid was petrified, thinking she might have breast cancer at the age of 19. at any rate, all's well, and next week we try again to hear the heartbeat.

she's not doing well with Eric being gone, and the crap his family is putting him through is just making matters worse. they don't want to live in Canada, they want to live here. seems his Mom can't accept that and has made his homecoming miserable. she's been harping on him since Monday, and the poor kid is fit to be tied. Cate's asked if she can go visit for the month of June, and my only reservation is what may happen in regards to the Mom. i shouldn't worry though. my girl has a big mouth and she's not afraid to use it, so i'm sure she'll put the Mom in her place as far as where they'll be living. Eric told his family (and i quote) "my life is in America now. my future wife and child are there, and that's where i want to be, so this conversation is pointless".

go Eric.