today started off more hectic than usual, which is a good thing. i need constant mental stimulation, or i become bored in seconds flat. 900+ channels don't even do it for me, nor will any book, no matter how absorbed i can become in it (and that lasts approximately 42 seconds), and i LOVE to read. o.O but these days it's not helping take me away to where i want to be.
i've been thinking a lot about family, extended included. i have no idea why, but i've learned over the years to simply roll with it. it's kinda like the epiphany's i have between sleeping and waking, that place where EVERYTHING makes complete sense yet it's gone in a flash (damn it all to hell) just before you're fully awake, but haven't quite woken up to "reality" just yet. i love those moments for the record, but i wish my epiphany's about why men do what they do would friggin' stay put just once!
so, this thing about my family has been smashing into my thoughts without permission for about a week now. i've thought about many things i didn't want to, accepted things i didn't want to, forgave much i didn't want to, and discovered that i honestly and truly love my mom. more than i ever thought possible in fact. for who she is, what she is, where she's been, and what's she's gone through. what she sacrificed, what she didn't, how she chose to make those decisions even though at the time i thought it was total crap, and how she's preservered through so much BULLSHIT, i find her to be amazing. i'm happy. finally.
it took long enough ffs.
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2 comments:
Oof I am so glad you came to a good conclusion!!! I wish I could meet your Mom, she must be one hell of a woman to have spawned someone as cool as you babe... and me..for we are one...is your mum called Sue?? LOL
Seriously though oh soul mate of mine, there is nothing so special as a truly loved parent, cherish her and tell her you love her as often as possible. I can think of a certain parent I wish I'd told more.
Love you
xx
love you too, hon xx
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