Christmas is almost here. Me no likey Christmas. My daughter, the spawn of the devil, is insisting that this year we do away with the traditional "Very, Merry, Ghetto Christmas". i don't know what her problem is, but you don't mess with tradition! I like not having all that stuff cluttering up my home and besides, once you take it all down the place looks naked.
She wants a tree. The nerve. It can't be just any tree (cuz lawd's knows if she hadn't been specific i would have gone outside and cut a branch off the pine and slapped it in a vase) but a REAL tree. With ornaments. And lights. And that sparkly crap. Oh, candy canes too. Unreal.
so I agree just to shut her up and we go looking for "the perfect tree". The Perfect Tree that will leave pine needles all over, that the kitten will undoubtedly climb up, on, and over, and that jackass of a dog she has will try to pee on. After checking a few places I inform here I am NOT paying more than $100 for something that will die in my house in less than two weeks. At any rate, we find one that's not too big, not too small, not buying. Too much money. She says "Mother. This only comes around once a year" to which I reply "Thank all the Gods". I get "the look". I smile back. I get "the stern look". I smile bigger. I get "the pout". I start to giggle. Then I got the "you are not a nice Mom and you stink" look, to which I pretty much damn near peed myself. I say "get a job. If you were working we could afford The Perfect Tree, but alas, you are not, so that's that".
No response. Stumped into silence. Stunned into muteness. A rare win for Mom.
Things didn't suck this day.
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